Day 31

This is NOT what I became an educator for…

Stupid kids! How dare they claim that “Statistics has no purpose in life”. I was so outraged when one of them said it (I really should have taken a note on who it was), I couldn’t give them a proper or, for that matter, any example.

It’s because I was mad. I will give them a good answer tomorrow. Although it’s 2.30 am and I still don’t have one. Shit!

Day 24

I was right – zero attendance today.

Actually – who cares, even if someone shows up, they’ll probably spend most of their time checking their phones and commenting on the TOP 10 BEST CAT VIDEOS OF ALL TIME!

I’m better off spending the whole class grading papers.

I believe I one-upped the kids… it took them 12 minutes to complete the quiz, but I managed to grade all 22 papers in just under 10. The fact that they were completely identical (give or take some punctuation and/or spelling) did help.

22 papers – all graded A+. On the one hand – hurrah, I have the best students ever. On the other – one inspection from the department of education and I’m out.

I decided I need to share my concerns with the students, so I posted  this

in their facebook group.

 

 

 

Day 17

I figured it out!

Not why on Earth was the janitor doing that with/to the broomstick – the other question which haunted me last night: How does anything reach young people who are skipping lectures today – the answer: Twitter

#ProfVinesLecture didn’t really catch on and neither did #StatisticsLecture. But soon after I posted #StatisticsQuizMonday, I realized where my mistake was and changed it to #AnswersForStatisticsQuizMonday. That’s when things got really firing – I gained more than 200 followers in an hour. Before then I had just four, three of which were relatives.

After the additional #ProfVinesStateCollege I managed to reach my target audience, i.e. five students from my class, two of whom had actually seen my face in person during lectures. One of them, named Jimmy, explained that the students usually communicate via Facebook, and around an hour later (probably after most posts there had been deleted) I was added to the Facebook group “Statistics 101 – State College”. Let the fun begin.  #gotcha

Day 10

I was extremely depressed today in class. Not many of my students noticed this though. Well, actually all of them noticed, but there were just two attending my lecture today, so that still counts as very few.

I had lunch with the person responsible for my suffering – Richard or ‘Dickhead’ as I started calling him. It suits him quite well I think. To be honest I didn’t plan on ever speaking to him again, like ever, but all other faculty members keep staring at me with a “I know what you did” or “You’ll be fired soon” look on their faces. Apart from a quite elderly physics professor who had more of a “You lucky duck” face when I approached his table. I prefer Dickhead’s company, even if I’m not speaking to him.

He, on the other, hand has no problem talking to me without stopping even for a second on the single topic of “how screwed I am going to be tomorrow”. Maybe the professor with the creepy smile wasn’t such a bad option. Richard kept making stupid jokes about how I should try sleeping with the chairman of the ethics committee or “at least try and bribe him… by sleeping with him”. For some reason he found himself to be quite hilarious and couldn’t stop giggling all the time. He finished his monologue full of (useless) advice by suggesting that I try praying, because it will definitely take a miracle to get me off the hook.

To be honest I’m not much of a believer, but if there is a God, I hope he’s willing to help.

Day 3

Screw those retarded little pricks. Seriously! Screw them and their idiotic way of life. Not only were there just six – SIX!, students in the classroom today, but half way through the lecture two of them realized they are in the wrong auditorium and that this “isn’t our biology class”. Seriously! I can understand going to the wrong room, but how on Earth does it take you 30 minutes to conclude that a lecture on statistics is not about Biology. Did the huge words “STATISTICS 101” on the whiteboard confuse them? Or was it me beginning the lecture with “Statistics has many applications in everyday life”. Stupid bloody retards.